About

Claire is a therapist who offers child counseling and family therapy that teaches emotional regulation and uses attachment based therapy.

Hi, I’m Claire. I’m a Child & Family Therapist and former school teacher. I am also a mom and a Christian.

I am passionate about offering Christian family therapy to parents and their children (6 to 12 years), to understand and transform the children’s behavioural challenges. My expertise lies in working with trauma, adoption and fostering, school issues, divorce and separation, anxiety, stress, and emotional regulation.

I specialise in using a collaborative family systems approach, where behaviours are understood and transformed within caring relationships of adults and children (attachment based therapy). I help parents and caregivers to understand the root causes of the behaviours, and together we support the child and the family with new learning, skills and practical strategies. I bring warmth and dedication to my work with families, and would love to work with you.

Based out of Toronto Ontario, I work with clients from Ontario and all over the world thanks to virtual video. I’m passionate about children, and now starting to see how the many weaves and turns my life took (from teacher, to social worker working in child welfare, to mental health therapist working with children, youth and their families) have been God’s plans throughout to equip me to guide children and families.

When I am not at my computer, I love spending time with my husband and our loving big-personality son – it is so wonderful to see life through a child’s eyes and experience all their excitement. I love going for long walks especially on cold brisk days, but I also love curling up with a good book and a cup of herbal tea. I enjoy baking, and at times our son joins too. I enjoy my own company, but also enjoy a good conversation.

my why

When I was teaching I had 2 children in my class. One, whom we will call Oscar, had diabetes at a young age, and he quickly learnt how to use this diagnosis in his favour. “I will only do one page of work instead of three, because I have diabetes.” I had studied the works of Rudolf Dreikurs and Adlerian Psychology, and these strategies worked perfectly with him. We embarked on a journey of logical and natural consequences, and I managed to get him under my wing, where we connected, he co-operated, and we worked in harmony.

The other child, whom we will call Tyson, was a different story. He had challenging behaviours same as Oscar did. Tyson would one moment cry and another moment get so angry and lash out. I was perplexed with his behaviours and tried using consequences with him. This did not work. After years of further studies, I know that Tyson was hurting. He had things going on at home, and his nervous system was reacting. The behaviours were just symptoms of his reacting nervous system. He did not need consequences, and instead needed nurture, guidance, connection and a safe secure base. He needed someone to connect with his nervous system and not ‘correct’ and ‘manage’ his behaviours.

These children like Tyson left me wanting to learn more. I studied social work and worked with children in the foster care system. I was seeing how many Tysons were struggling, and the solutions/treatments that were provided to them and their families were not working, as they were targeting the behaviours and not the nervous system. I furthered my studies and worked at a walk-in clinic as a mental health therapist and saw how we failed some children, which resulted in quite a bit of mental health challenges.

I continued searching for answers how to reach these ‘hurting’ children, and honed in on child development, infant and child mental health, attachment theory, neuroscience and relational approach. Research* keeps proving how children, who are raised in homes where they are emotionally connected and understood, have better prospects. And yet, caring for children who are acting-out can cause a big strain on families who might not have the information and skills that they need and deserve.
* Sroufe, A. & Siegel, D. (2011). The verdict is in: The case for attachment theory. Psychotherapy Networker.

I started myCaRE&CO because I want to reach more Oscars and more Tysons and their families. I want to partner with parents and caregivers so that together we can support these children so that they feel understood, safe, and cared for in ways that sets them up for success. In my work, I serve Christian families who are struggling with their 6 to 12 year old children’s behaviours, by providing evidence-based research and tools that align with a Christian worldview and focusing on the attachment/connection between the child and parents/caregivers, to bring transformation and peaceful homes.

MY STYLE

Jenga blocks illustrating why counseling, family therapy nd attachment based therapy can teach emotional regulation.

  • strength-based approach (acknowledging and building on what is already working well)
  • warmth and curiosity (asking questions to genuinely know you)
  • attentive listening
  • new ways of understanding behaviours (through psycho-education, and together analysing the root causes of the behaviours)
  • neuroscience (understanding brain-body connection to transform behaviours)
  • uniqueness and differences are given space and importance (I work with you)
  • attachment-based science (where relationships are the building stone of our work)
  • togetherness (strengthening the relationships and connected-ness)
  • adding to your toolbox without overwhelm (working at your and your family’s pace)
  • mental well-being (best practices to support our children’s mental health – to raise emotionally healthy, secure, resilient future adults)
  • Christian worldview (adding another dimension to strengthen the family)

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MY SPECIALITY

I work with children (6 to 12 years) and their families on behavioural challenges, as it relates to…

Attachment & Trauma
Child & Family Therapy*
Parenting Skills
Adoption & Fostering
Separation & Divorce
Grief & Loss & Health Experiences
School Issues
Anxiety
Stress
Emotional Regulation

*I use the family-systems approach, where the child is understood within the context in which they function – the family and in some aspects the school. The family-systems approach focuses on working to change relationship patterns. We note that the behaviour of each family member serves as both a response and a trigger for one another. And these ongoing patterns of interactions within the family, maintain the status quo of the behaviours and symptoms of family members. In the book, Healing Parents, the authors refer to the modification of family dynamics as, “change the dance, change the child” (Orlans & Levy, 2006). For this reason, my work focuses on family-systems approach. I do not do individual child sessions as this approach often does not work, and can backfire as the child views himself/herself as the problem that needs to be fixed and is not supported within the child’s family unit.

I also include a Christian worldview perspective, as it adds another layer of hope and relational approach.

HOW AM I DIFFERENT?


You have tried other programs – they might have worked temporarily and now the behaviours are back again. You might be wondering, what would change this time?

Some programs unfortunately still work from a behaviour modification lens – where strategies are provided to change the behaviour. However, we know through research and neuroscience that most often behaviour is just an outward symptom of something that is going on ‘internally’ in the child. Therefore, if we just address the outward symptoms, we will just get temporary changes.

The key then, is to understand what is going on for your child, and address those underlying issues – which is the approach that we will work on together. We dig deep to understand your child, and use approaches to see long-term results.

Additionally, other programs might have ‘treated’ your child as an individual. However, a child’s behaviours have to be understood within a family system (sometimes school system too), where behaviours of each family member serve as both a response and a trigger for one another.

The approach that I use and teach uses a circle of care that helps to break the patterns of interactions within the family that are not working, which supports all the family members including the child. This provides lasting change in your child and within the family unit.

Lastly, research also shows how spirituality adds another layer of hope and relational approach. For this reason, I include a Christian worldview perspective in my work, to strengthen our families.

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As a teacher for over 10 years,
I studied the work of Rudolf Dreikurs (Adlerian psychology).
I implemented the approach successfully in the classroom, and taught parents how to use the strategies with their children at home.
For instance, how to use consequences effectively to avoid any power struggles with their children.
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As a social worker in the child welfare system,
I broadened my knowledge and took courses in Infant Mental Health, child development, attachment, and how to counteract adverse experiences that can negatively impact children.
For instance, the importance of secure attachment and how it is a building block for mental wellbeing.
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As a therapist at a walk-in clinic,
I supported clients to manage their mental health and worked with parents to equip them, to be able to support their children’s mental health.
For instance, understanding that children’s big emotions and challenging behaviours are a means of communication, and then working on addressing the children’s real needs.
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As a Christian,
I believe that our most important calling as Christian caregivers is to disciple our children to have a life-long faith in Jesus Christ our Saviour.
By studying the bible, we can see how God loves His children and how He created us to have a relationship with Him – our Father. The New Testament further shows us how this relationship looks like, through the beautiful connected relationship that God and the Son have.
Parenting/caregiving emulates this love and connection that God desires us to have with our children.
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As a mom,
Everyday I am learning hands on. I am able to utilise all the theory I acquired over the years in practical real life experience, and gives me confidence in what works.
And yet, I now understand how hard parenting can be, how easy it is to get lost in all the parenting advice, and the very importance of support for the parent.
For instance, because I have an understanding of neuroscience, I understand how my body can react to our son’s behaviour and can adjust my response to meet his needs to provide that nurturing environment.
And,
as I keep growing in my faith, I can make meaning of those behaviours and not let them get under my skin, and instead use these opportunities as learning experiences/conversations with our son.
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As a Child & Family Therapist at my care&co,
I have the privilege of blending all this, while working with parents and caregivers like you to support our children of tomorrow.
I use a mixture of theories to tailor sessions according to your family’s unique strengths and needs.
Some of the framework that I use is Adlerian Psychology and the work of Rudolf Dreikurs (connection and meaningful conversations), attachment theory (the importance of connection and relationships), emotional family focused theory (connecting emotionally), neuroscience (the study of the brain) and child development. These theories which are backed by years of research and up-to-date best practices, align with the bible’s teachings of love, connection, respect, and grace.
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MY PROFESSIONAL TRAINING

Ready to Take the Next Steps?


If you are ready to get support with your child’s behaviours, click the link below for a 15 min no-cost call. I’d love to connect, answer any questions, and discuss how I can help.